Literally me every time i try to do something cool
When I'm with friends and just remains an alone...
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Me: quickly running out of spatulas.
Sam: All of Alex's spatulas vapourized in an unfortunate nuclear explosion. Now she is unable to fabricate further batches of radioactive cupcakes. I find this tragic.
Me: But actually, Harry Potter came with Hermione's time turner to switch back to the time when all my spatulas were safe allowing me to continue generating many more delicious treats to bring hope to humanity once again.
Sam: All of a sudden, Meg, who was jealous of Hermione, jumped through the Tesseract and, with the help of Charles Wallace since they were able to kythe with one another, was able to once again seize the spatulas and send them flying into the depths of time where not even a powerful wizard could ever retrieve them.
Me: But, Meg and Charles Wallace could not stop the brave and courageous Frodo from traveling to the depths of time to retrieve the spatulas so that I could once again bake delicious desserts.
A moment for Minerva's sarcasm:
Minerva Mcgonagall: Well, usually when a person shakes their head, they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans
Minerva Mcgonagall: I wonder, how you can expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I am talking.
Minerva Mcgonagall: I should have made my meaning plainer. He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.
Minerva Mcgonagall: Are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores?